Freedom for all

Good morning. This is a devotional for single adults from Parenting Solo, but the message also applies to single adults without children who may one day marry a single parent and be a step-parent. Feel Free to forward it to a friend.

Scripture: Matthew 4:5-9 (The Message) Jesus came into Sychar, a Samaritan village that bordered the field Jacob had given his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was still there. Jesus, worn out by the trip, sat down at the well. It was noon. A woman, a Samaritan, came to draw water. Jesus said, “Would you give me a drink of water?” … The Samaritan woman, taken aback, asked, “How come you, a Jew, are asking me, a Samaritan woman, for a drink?” (Jews in those days wouldn’t be caught dead talking to Samaritans.)

Jesus committed two faux pas in the exchange. First, he was alone with a woman, and two, he was alone with a Samaritan. The Jews hated the Samaritans. In fact, when Jesus said he wanted to take a shortcut on his journey from Aenon to Galilee, his disciples were indignant. No self-respecting Jew went through Samaria – most would walk around and add a couple of days to their trip rather than go through Samaria.

But Jesus had a mission. He had to be at Jacob’s Well in Sychar at noon on this very day to witness to a harlot. Her life was at stake. Jesus even made sure all his disciples were in town buying food (wells usually were a short walk from the center of town). Jesus needed to be alone with the Samaritan woman in order to have a conversation with her and gain her trust. Had the disciples been hanging around, they would have shoo’d the woman away from Jesus.

Jesus was smarter than the average bear and planned around his disciples’ bigotry. That day, the Samaritan woman found new freedom, something she had never experienced in her rugged life. She kept bouncing from one man to another, hoping to be set free of her bondage. She was a virtual sex slave to whatever man she was with at the time. She probably had no friends; all the women in town shunned her because of her reputation. She was fetching water at noon – the other women would have done it in the cool of the morning and spent perhaps an hour socializing. She had gone through five husbands and was now living with a sixth, so the other women wanted nothing to do with her.

What Jesus offered her was equality, the same thing anyone who comes to know Christ receives. Other religions in the world – even today – set women aside as second-hand citizens. Jewish women sit on one side of the room, while the men sit on the other. Muslim women are not allowed into mosques. Mormon women can’t get to heaven unless they are married and produce children. Jesus offered a harlot equality with every woman in town. John goes on to tell that the entire town of Sychar comes to faith because of this woman’s testimony. People saw change in this woman’s life. Jesus changes all the rules when it comes to faith. He chooses the weakest vessel to do his work because it shows the mighty power of his hand. The Samaritan woman loved Jesus because he set her free.

How does this apply to my life?

Today’s prayer: Lord, I pray that you help every woman reading this know that you want to use them for your glory. Let them know that, no matter what their past, God can use their struggles to bring others to Christ. May they humble themselves in order to know you better. Amen

Doug Mead

Parenting Solo

Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.

Vol. 3, No. 153

This week’s reading plan can be found at http:/www.oneyearbibleonline.com/november.asp?version=51

Real relationships

Good morning. This is a devotional for single adults from Parenting Solo, but the message also applies to single adults without children who may one day marry a single parent and be a step-parent. Feel Free to forward it to a friend.

Scripture: Matthew 18:15 (The Message) “If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him – work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend.”

If only it were that simple: “Work it out between the two of you.” That single line may be among the most difficult in the Bible for us to grasp. We humans just don’t do conflict well. Issues between two people can get to the point in which both lives become consumed. Anger simmers, and hatred is just around the corner. Bitterness cannot be far behind. When a friendship is broken, Satan smiles.

That is why Jesus made forgiveness the heart of his ministry. He knew just how important forgiveness would be. He also knew how tough it would be for us to grasp the concepts. That is why he urged us to ask forgiveness and seek reconciliation as soon as possible. Don’t wait. The wounds will only fester and spread to the heart. Then it begins to affect every relationship in our lives. Just the way Satan wants it.

Relationships demand trust and honesty. Trust is built on honesty. When someone is hurt by another person, trust is put on hold until amends are made. Satan wants us bickering with our friends. He wants us angry at one another. He wants us to put off seeking forgiveness because that means healing, and the relationship depends. He wants us on edge, so that true friendship cannot happen. He likes shallow friendships. Depth scares him, because God is into deep relationships.

When two friends can forgive and reconcile, it helps us to see God’s plan of grace. It makes it easier for us to go to God and confess our sins. When we know it is easier than we thought, we are free to go to him more often. Our faith grows with our openness and honesty. Real relationships demand trust. When trust is built, authenticity occurs. That is what God wants for us, with him as well as with our earthly relationships. When we have real relationships here on earth, we grow closer to God, because he created us to be relational. Real faith isn’t about trying to be perfect before God; it is realizing that we aren’t perfect and we need a God who forgives all our sins. Jesus Christ died for each and every one of those sins so that we need not carry that burden.

How does this apply to my life?

Today’s prayer: Lord, thank you for forgiveness and reconciliation. Help me to not be afraid to come before you with my sins. Amen

Doug Mead

Parenting Solo

Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.

Vol. 3, No. 113

This week’s reading plan can be found at http:/www.oneyearbibleonline.com/august.asp?version=51

Sinking caused by faint-hearts

Good morning. This is a devotional for single adults from Parenting Solo, but the message also applies to single adults without children who may one day marry a single parent and be a step-parent. Feel Free to forward it to a friend.

Scripture: Matthew 14:31 (The Message) (From yesterday: Peter lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, “Master, save me!”) Jesus didn’t hesitate. He reached down and grabbed his hand. Then he said, “Faint-heart, what got into you?”

One of the descriptions the Bible uses for Jesus is “comforter.” He comforts us in our struggles because he cares for us. But at one point does Jesus reach his hand out to grab us from treachery? Anybody? Anybody? He reaches out before we sink. The passage says Peter “started to sink,” at which point, Jesus grabbed him. Jesus was right there beside Peter. He knew exactly what was going on. He was watching him, millisecond by millisecond. At just the right moment, he pulled up Peter before his head went below the surface.

Peter didn’t sink. His head didn’t go under water. He wasn’t bobbing up and down in drowning mode, gasping for air when his head rose above the water. We must trust that Jesus knows just when to save us. Somewhere in there in his perfect timing, Jesus wants us to grow in our faith: If we keep our eyes on Jesus, we can walk on water; when we focus on the storm, we start to sink. That’s why Jesus said to Peter, “Faint-heart, what got into you?” Jesus didn’t say “Peter, you sank because you lost faith;” He said, “What got into you?” He wanted Peter to think on his own.

Only Jesus knows when that perfect time is to save us. At that point, he won’t hesitate to save us. What he doesn’t want to happen is for us to try to save ourselves. That is the dilemma we all face in trying times. Instead of relying on God’s strength, we try to do it ourselves. It is human nature, but that is what Jesus is trying to warn us about. Do not lose focus during stormy times. If we lose that focus for even a little while, fear quickly sets in. That fear does not come from God, it comes from Satan.

God can do incredible things through us, but only if we do things his way. Jesus wants us to know it’s OK to acknowledge or fears. Peter doesn’t get out of the boat and walk on water, then tell Jesus, “Master, I’m scared. There’s a storm all around me. I’m afraid of sinking.” Had Peter made such a statement, Jesus would have replied. “I know it’s scary out here, Peter, but keep your eyes on me.” Instead of keeping his focus on Jesus, Peter looks either to his left or to his right. That is his sin. For us, keeping our focus means living out our faith for Christ daily. When things get tough, we can’t suddenly stop going to church, forget to pray or stop reading our Bibles. Seek counsel from a wise friend. Don’t be afraid to cry out “Master, save me!” because Jesus promises to rescue us from the storms of life.

How does this apply to my life?

Today’s prayer: Lord, help me to keep my eyes on you, every day. Help me not to turn to the left or to the right during the storm. Amen

Doug Mead

Parenting Solo

Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.

Vol. 3, No. 97

This week’s reading plan can be found at http:/www.oneyearbibleonline.com/july.asp?version=51

Listen only to Jesus’ voice

Good morning. This is a devotional for single adults from Parenting Solo, but the message also applies to single adults without children who may one day marry a single parent and be a step-parent. Feel Free to forward it to a friend.

Scripture: Matthew 14:30 (The Message) Jumping out of the boat, Peter walked on the water to Jesus. But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, “Master, save me!”

When my son was an infant, I took him to swimming lessons in the summertime. The instructor had us place or children on the deck of the pool, with us standing in the water a few feet away. Then he told us to tell our children to jump into our arms. “Come on, Son, you can do this. Jump into Daddy’s arms.” And what’s the first thing our children say? “Will you catch me?” “Yes, Son, I’ll catch you.” Then he would jump into my arms, and laugh and giggle. “Again,” he’d say.

That’s how our faith life is, too. Peter first asks Jesus if it is really him on the water. When Jesus assures him it is he, Peter “jumps out of the boat” with exuberance. At first, Peter’s faith is rewarded. He is the only one of the disciples to get out of the boat and walk on water. Only Peter had that special experience of knowing Jesus right then. It’s the same way with the swimming lesson above. Afterward, my son and I had a special bond, because he knew he could trust me and jump and I would catch him.

That’s what Jesus was doing with Peter. Peter was fine at first. His excitement got him out of the boat and surfing onto the water. But as soon as he looked around, he realized there was still a storm going on around him. These were white-cap waves churning around him, not just water lapping onto the side of the boat. Peter had reason to fear, at least in his own mind. Then, scripture says “he lost his nerve and started to sink.” That’s what happens with us and our faith. Note that it doesn’t say “he sank.” Jesus was still there for him, whether Peter realized it or not.

Peter’s faith got him out of the boat as no other. But when he took his eyes of Jesus, he began to sink. And just like us when we panic, we first cry out to God to save us. It’s instinct. “Hey, I’m sinking here, God. Are you watching.” Yes, God is watching, but he gave us instructions, and he wants us to follow them. Keep with the program and we’ll be fine. That’s what faith is about. Peter’s troubles began when he started looking at the storm around him. Thinking like that will always discourage us. Satan’s plan is to discourage us at every turn. We must learn to listen to God’s voice of encouragement in stormy times and not Satan’s.

How does this apply to my life?

Today’s prayer: Lord, help me to listen to your voice only. Help me to stick you’re your program. Amen

Doug Mead

Parenting Solo

Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.

Vol. 3, No. 96

This week’s reading plan can be found at http:/www.oneyearbibleonline.com/july.asp?version=51

Preparing properly

Good morning. This is a devotional for single adults from Parenting Solo, but the message also applies to single adults without children who may one day marry a single parent and be a step-parent. Feel Free to forward it to a friend.

Scripture: Matthew 14:22-23 (The Message) As soon as the meal was finished, he insisted that the disciples got in the boat and go on ahead to the other side while he dismissed the people. With the crowd dispersed, he climbed the mountain so he could by himself and pray. He stayed there alone, late into the night.

Jesus had just finished performing the miracle of feeding the 5,000. The next subtitle for this story is “Walking on the Water.” Like a businessman looking ahead to the next day’s agenda, Jesus knew what would happen that night. He had an object lesson planned for Peter, designed to build his faith. So what does Jesus do, knowing he must go from one great miracle to another? He first regains his strength by going off to a place of solitude and praying. Scripture says he was praying “late into the night,” so it wasn’t a short prayer.

That’s a lesson we should all learn. Tomorrow’s a big day, and we know it. We need proper rest, yes, so going to bed at a decent hour is wise. But it’s the prayer thing that is important. Instead of taking a day off, Jesus looks at the surroundings and sees another opportunity to teach Peter how to trust him more. His prayer time fortifies his plans. We should do the same. “Father, this is my plan. What am I missing? Tell me.” Then listen intently. Whatever you need, God will reveal to you.

Our plan may be sound because we prayed over it as we made it, but that quiet time with God is meant to be a listening time. “Lord, what is your plan for me.” That way, it becomes more of God’s plan and less of ours. Jesus knew a storm was brewing when he sent the disciples out. He knew he would rejoin them by walking on water. He knew Peter would hop out of the boat and cry for help when he sank. Yet he still wanted to ensure he was one with God by praying first. He prayed fervently, too.

Jesus didn’t waste any time moving on to the next ministry opportunity. He didn’t gloat over his success with the feeding of the 5,000. Had he eaten with his disciples that night, they surely would have reveled in the fact that, at the end of the meal, there were more loaves and fishes than when they started. Maybe they would have gloated a little bit. Jesus would have none of that. He saw another opportunity to teach his disciples, and he didn’t waste it. We should do the same with our children. Sometimes it happens so quickly that the only prayer time we have is “Lord, help me.” That’s enough. We’ve called on the Holy Spirit to intervene for us. It’s suddenly about God and not about us. Let the great teacher teach.

How does this apply to my life?

Today’s prayer: Lord, help me to give my daily plans over to you. Tell me what I am missing for today. Amen

Doug Mead

Parenting Solo

Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.

Vol. 3, No. 93

This week’s reading plan can be found at http:/www.oneyearbibleonline.com/july.asp?version=51

It’s simple: Follow Jesus

Good morning. This is a devotional for single adults from Parenting Solo, but the message also applies to single adults without children who may one day marry a single parent and be a step-parent. Feel Free to forward it to a friend.

Scripture: Matthew 13:1-3 (The Message) At about that same time, Jesus left the house and sat on the beach. In no time at all, a crowd gathered along the shoreline, forcing him to get into a boat. Using the boat as a pulpit, he addressed his congregation, telling stories.

The simplicity of it all. Jesus is standing on a beach, hanging out with his disciples. Suddenly, swarms of people gather around him to listen to him teach. Whatever he had said previously had impacted them greatly because they wanted to hear more. To gather himself, he hopped into a nearby boat and pushed off from shore. From there, he taught the people by telling stories. A beach, a boat, stories. That was all Jesus needed.

Imagine if a Benny Hinn or a Jimmy Swaggert tried that today with no television audience and no hope of an offering to subsidize their mega-ministries. (Side note: Did Jesus ever ask for money when he preached? The answer is no.) Today, we want to be entertained. We want to laugh on Sunday mornings. We want multi-media presentations to give us pizzazz. We want to be dazzled. Yet Jesus’ messages were always simple stories. He told parables that made them think about its meaning. He told about the love of God. He told of truth and grace. He told about the kingdom to come. That’s it. No flash.

It wasn’t just the message they were attracted to, it was the messenger. He was so different than anything they had heard from the Jewish leaders. The people on the outside looking in were no longer outcasts; they were included in Jesus’ plans. Jesus’ message was all-inclusive; no one was left out. Anyone who believes in Jesus and the Father can spend eternity in heaven with them. Jesus’ message was and is so simple. It isn’t about the act of doing; it was about being.

Being a Christian, or a follower of Jesus, is simply trying to be like him. We can never be perfect enough to get into heaven. No matter how hard we try, we can never make it on our own merits. The people were tired of trying to live up to the standards of Moses’ Law, which had changed over the centuries to include too many of man’s law. Suddenly, untying your donkey on the Sabbath was considered a sin. The people were frustrated at the difficulty of knowing God. It was all so complex. Jesus’ message simplified their lives greatly. Know Jesus, know the father. Simple. Try it.

How does this apply to my life?

Today’s prayer: Lord, help me to understand the simplicity of your message. Help me to love the Son as well as the Father. Help me to be like the Son. Amen

Doug Mead

Parenting Solo

Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.

Vol. 3, No. 87

This week’s reading plan can be found at http:/www.oneyearbibleonline.com/july.asp?version=51

Being obedient is the key

Good morning. This is a devotional for single adults from Parenting Solo, but the message also applies to single adults without children who may one day marry a single parent and be a step-parent. Feel Free to forward it to a friend.

Scripture: Matt. 12:48-50 (The Message) Jesus didn’t respond directly (to his mother and brothers wanting to speak to him), but said, “Who do you think my mother and brothers are?” He then stretched out his hand toward his disciples. “Look closely. These are my mother and brothers. Obedience is thicker than blood. The person who obeys my heavenly Father’s will is my brother and sister and mother.”

Family was important in the Jewish culture. It was important to have sons to pass on their lineage. Sons and daughters tended to live nearby, even after marriage. Sons would marry but usually stay in the same town. Fathers would teach their sons the business, because it would one day be their own. Blood relatives were important to the culture.

But here, while Jesus is teaching, the Pharisees are looking for a miracle to prove he is who he says he is. Jesus declines. He knows they still wouldn’t believe. When someone mentions that his mother and brothers are outside, he tells the crowd that anyone who obeys his Father’s words is his brothers, sisters and mother. He was setting obedience above blood. He was telling the people how important obedience is.

When Jesus was asked about which commandments were the most important, he told the people to love God with all their hearts, souls and minds, and to love their neighbors as themselves. Simple. If we obey those two commandments, everything else in life falls into place. If we truly love God with all our heart, soul and mind, loving others comes naturally. It’s a byproduct of who God is. When they asked him to define “neighbors,” he told them that everyone was considered a neighbor in the kingdom. They were looking for loopholes.

It seems so simple, yet obeying those two commandments gets tricky. Every day, we are disobedient. What God cares about is where our hearts are. Do we feel remorse when we stumble? Do we immediately come to God and confess our sins? Or do we take the attitude that God forgives all our sins anyway, so what’s the big deal? The big deal is that we must try to be obedient. Of course we’re going to stumble; we’re human. The good news is that Jesus died for our sins, all of them. We need a savior, and Jesus is he. It’s in the scriptures, and we can trust God’s word. We just have to believe and be obedient.

How does this apply to my life?

Today’s prayer: Lord, help me to be obedient, even when it hurts. Help me to be obedient, even when it’s difficult. Amen

Doug Mead

Parenting Solo

Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.

Vol. 3, No. 86

This week’s reading plan can be found at http:/www.oneyearbibleonline.com/july.asp?version=51

Gimme a miracle!

Good morning. This is a devotional for single adults from Parenting Solo, but the message also applies to single adults without children who may one day marry a single parent and be a step-parent. Feel Free to forward it to a friend.

Scripture: Matthew 12:39 (The Message) Jesus said, “You’re looking for proof, but you’re looking for the wrong kind. All you want is something to titillate your curiosity, satisfy your lust for miracles.”

We live in a society that wants proof that God exists virtually every day. People like Benny Hinn because they want to believe that God is a god of miracles. We are willing to pay $20 and line up at a circus tent to see revival from a god-barker. “Come on people! Come on down! Get your healings! Right here!” But those same people won’t go down to their local church and be a part of long-term revival or find healing from relationships they’ve built over the years.

We want our fix, and we want it now. Yet, God seems to go off and hide when we demand miracles for proof of his existence. He knows even if he does provide said proof that many will walk away and demand another miracle. It’s human nature. In Matthew 12:38, the Pharisees are again asking Jesus for a miracle healing. He won’t do it. He’s done it too many times for them, and he figures enough is enough. At some point, people have to believe in God for the right reasons. Either their hearts are right or they aren’t. If they aren’t, God simply walks away and waits. And waits. He always has more patience than we do. He’ll wait us out.

Some people will do the carnival evangelist over and over. They’ll stand in line and get slain on stage, hoping for a miracle. They’ll get caught by the catcher and swear that Jesus healed them. They’ll walk away minus the limp, but it’s back the next morning. Sometimes, the pain is psychosomatic, sometimes it’s a thorn in their side that Jesus refuses to remove, for his own reasons. Either way, Jesus wants real faith. Anything short of that, and you deserve to lose your $20.

Real faith takes time, and it takes energy. It isn’t something you can catch in a moment and suddenly be energized for 20 years. That kind of faith runs out of gas before you get to the top of the hill, then it coasts backwards until you slam into a tree. Real faith believes in the good times and in the bad. We don’t blame God when things don’t turn out the way we had hoped and prayed. We accept that it’s God’s will, and that he knows a thing or two. Fake faith constantly demands proof. People like that go their whole lives without real faith.

How does this apply to my life?

Today’s prayer: Lord, give me real faith. Give me faith that lasts a lifetime. Give me faith that doesn’t demand proof. Amen

Doug Mead

Parenting Solo

Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.

Vol. 3, No. 85

This week’s reading plan can be found at http:/www.oneyearbibleonline.com/july.asp?version=51

What kind of fruit are you bearing?

Good morning. This is a devotional for single adults from Parenting Solo, but the message also applies to single adults without children who may one day marry a single parent and be a step-parent. Feel Free to forward it to a friend.

Scripture: Matthew 12:33 (The Message) (Jesus said:) “If you grow a healthy tree, you’ll pick healthy fruit. If you grow a diseased tree, you’ll pick worm-eaten fruit. The fruit tells you about the tree.”

When my wife and I were hiking in Park City, Utah, last week, we went through a grove of Aspens. At one point, someone had carved their initials in the bark. Consequently, the tree was dying. It wasn’t healthy looking. Its leaves weren’t bright green like the others. They didn’t realize that when you damage the bark of an Aspen, that it can be fatal. It may take years for the trees to die.

That’s how our lives are, too. We do something without thinking, and suddenly, our bark is turning colors. Take getting pregnant as a teenager. No matter what you do, your life will never be the same. We can choose to get an abortion, give the baby up for adoption or have the baby on our own. Perhaps our family will help us, perhaps they won’t. College may have been in our future, but it has to be put on hold to have the baby, perhaps forever. Our financial future will never be the same. Our insides change, too, in a way we can’t predict. We may not trust the opposite sex the way we once did.

What does your tree look like today? Is it healthy and bearing fruit, or are there worms coming out of your fruit? Unlike the two scenarios above, Jesus can heal any tree, either on the exterior or the interior. He specializes in mending broken hearts. It takes faith and time to see God’s finished work. Sometimes, he isn’t in a hurry, because he wants us to realize the error of our ways. When we were children, our parents spanked us immediately when we acted out; they didn’t wait a week before doling out the spanking. We learn our lesson when justice is handed out right away.

People can see what kind of fruit our lives are producing. People know immediately whether our fruit is sweet or sour. The choices we make on a daily basis may determine what your fruit tastes like. For us to go from rotten fruit to sweet fruit in just a few days is unrealistic. We may have to forsake this year’s crop and start working on next year’s crop. We need to give ourselves time, in order to feel the effects of God’s healing hand. Don’t rush it; God is in no hurry. He patiently waits and watches our actions before helping us. He’s looking at our hearts. Only when our hearts want real change does God step in with his healing touch. It is our choice what kind of fruit our tree bears. It’s a growth partnership with God.

How does this apply to my life?

Today’s prayer: Lord, help me to bear sweet fruit for your kingdom. Let my fruit be bold and filled with robust flavors, because you are the great farmer of the universe. Amen

Doug Mead

Parenting Solo

Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.

Vol. 3, No. 84

This week’s reading plan can be found at http:/www.oneyearbibleonline.com/july.asp?version=51

Being flexible

Good morning. This is a devotional for single adults from Parenting Solo, but the message also applies to single adults without children who may one day marry a single parent and be a step-parent. Feel Free to forward it to a friend.

Scripture: Matthew 12:6-8 (The Message) (Jesus said:) “There is more at stake here than religion. If you had any idea what this scripture means – ‘I prefer a flexible heart to an inflexible ritual’ – you wouldn’t be nitpicking like this. The Son of Man is no lackey to the Sabbaths; he’s in charge.”

Several years ago I was involved with a church that brought in a man to teach the pastors and leaders about keeping flexible schedules during office hours. The idea was that, as ministry leaders, we had to keep flexibility in our routines for people who needed us, whether for emotional or spiritual guidance. The idea was that if we kept our schedules too full, we wouldn’t have any time left for those poor lost souls who needed a little of our time.

I’ve always liked that kind of flexible routine. I like the idea of always having time for coffee with a friend, or perhaps a walk. Maybe that’s because I’m spontaneous and an Otter personality, always ready to flitter around and start new projects. I’m a people person at heart. Fixed schedules and routines aren’t my cup of tea. I think, too, that Jesus was a flexible kind of guy. When he met the woman at the well, he didn’t wait for his disciples to return, as was the custom with the Jews. He made time for her. He worked her into his busy schedule. He always seemed to have time for people, whether at a wedding feast, a dinner party at a tax collector’s or the healing of a child.

So how do we become flexible in our busy lifestyles? We have kids to raise, jobs to pursue, households to manage and lives to lead. How do we prioritize such flexibility? Are we to be flexible for just anyone? The answer, is yes, we must prioritize our schedules. We must know what’s important and what isn’t. Family and certain friends deserve our time whenever the need arises. Finances matter, too. Walking is free and coffee is cheap. (No lattes at my meetings.)

I was speaking with a pastor on our vacation about balancing ministry life with family life, and he shared a story with me. He told me he used to read his four boys bedtime stories, but occasionally he would get pastoral calls that needed his time. He would stop reading to care for one of his sheep. Later, he realized his mistake and set boundaries for phone calls during family time. He made appointments for the next day – over coffee. That way, his family got his time when they needed him, and his congregation got him when they needed him, during daytime hours. How can you add ministry flex time to your busy schedule?

How does this apply to my life?

Today’s prayer: Lord, help me to always keep flex time in my daily schedule. Help me to make time for people who might need my time. Amen

Doug Mead

Parenting Solo

Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.

Vol. 3, No. 83

This week’s reading plan can be found at http:/www.oneyearbibleonline.com/july.asp?version=51

Ordinary or extraordinary?

Good morning. This is a devotional for single adults from Parenting Solo, but the message also applies to single adults without children who may one day marry a single parent and be a step-parent. Feel Free to forward it to a friend.

Scripture: Matthew 11:25-26 (The Message) Abruptly Jesus broke into prayer: “Thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth. You’ve concealed your ways from sophisticates and know-it-alls, but spelled them out clearly to ordinary people. Yes, Father, that’s the way you like to work.”

Jesus has sent off the 12 disciples to share the Gospel throughout the world. Jesus has begun his three-year ministry by teaching and preaching in villages around Galilee. After Jesus placed the charge to his disciples, John the Baptist, who was locked up in prison, sent word to Jesus, asking if he were the Messiah. Jesus essentially said that he was the one they were awaiting. Then Jesus went to work in cities that had given the least response to his message of grace.

Christ wasn’t giving the message to the Pharisees or the Sanhedrin, the “sophisticates” of the Jewish culture, to whom Jesus referred. He was giving the message to the “ordinary” people. “Ordinary” as in not just pastors. Ordinary as in single adults. The sophisticates of the time were always thumbing their noses at the “ordinary” people. Imagine how it felt to be just “ordinary.” Yet Jesus was taking his message to the “ordinary” people first, telling them how special they were, telling them how much God loved them. Before Jesus, they felt left out of God’s kingdom plan.

Suddenly, the ordinary were the extraordinary and the sophisticates were the ones left out. Anyone who put their faith in God and understood that His grace covered their sins could have peace on earth and spend eternity in heaven with the Father. Imagine how refreshing that must have felt, how freeing that must have been. It was like Sally Fields at the Academy Awards: “You love me! You really love me!” The kingdom door was suddenly open to everyone.

So what does that mean to “ordinary” folks? There is a charge to this prayer. Jesus tells us “ordinary” believers to take his message to other “ordinary” people. His message is easy to hear from someone who has gone down that same path. Yes, God works in mysterious ways through “ordinary” people just like us. Single adults can do extraordinary things in the kingdom, if we only believe. If we think we are left out because of our earlier marital sins or that we have nothing to offer, then we will be left out of the fun. The fun is sharing Christ’s peace with those whose lives are in constant turmoil, then watching their lives change right before your eyes. People are looking for change, and if we offer them the world, they will remain lost. Offer them Christ and watch God work his miracles. God likes to work like that.

How does this apply to my life?

Today’s prayer: Lord, thank you for your special message for “ordinary” people. Help me to accept my role in the kingdom of sharing your grace with the lost. Amen

Doug Mead

Parenting Solo

Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.

Vol. 3, No. 81

This week’s reading plan can be found at http:/www.oneyearbibleonline.com/july.asp?version=51

Choose between love and hate

Good morning. This is a devotional for single adults from Parenting Solo, but the message also applies to single adults without children who may one day marry a single parent and be a step-parent. Feel Free to forward it to a friend.

Scripture: Matthew 10:21-22 (The Message) "When people realize it is the living God you are presenting and not some idol that makes them feel good, they are going to turn on you, even people in your own family. There is a great irony here: proclaiming so much love, experiencing so much hate! But don't quit. Don't cave in. It is all well worth it in the end. It is not success you are after in such times but survival."

A couple of days ago, I got hooked on a TV reality show called "Flipped out." (It's what teachers on summer vacation do!) The star of the show is Jeff, a wigged out 30-something big-time house-flipper in the Los Angeles area. After about two minutes, you know he has Obsessive Compulsion Disorder, which he later acknowledges on air. When he moves into a house he bought and remodeled, he calls in a friend to "bless" the house. She is a sooth-sayer or seer or whatever you want to call her. Later Jeff says such things as "God is mad at me for the things I've done" and "I wonder if this will get me into heaven?"

Not likely Jeff. Yes, God is angry with you for bringing in a median and not consulting him first. You're in big trouble. But then, you're the kind of guy who hires someone to "talk" to your pets. I laughed, but this is how much of society thinks and lives today. They have no concept of who the real, living God is, because they haven't read the Bible, and don't believe in what it says anyway. They make up their own religion, because God is a God or rules, and he might not like something in their lifestyle. We don't want to have anything that "feels good" to be taken away. We want to nix anything that is tough on us.

We're really good at making idols and worshiping them. Money, jobs, cars, houses, material goods, sex -- even, gasp, golf! And God forbid anyone should ever criticize us for our idols, because that means you're intolerant and if there's anything we can't tolerate, it's anyone who is intolerant. That pretty much means everyone is intolerant in some way, shape or form. Everybody's mad because no one wants to be held accountable for their actions.

In our hearts, we all know when we sin. God gave each of us a conscience. We just don't want to have to admit it, because then we might realize we should probably give it up for the sake of our emotional or physical health. Jesus reminds us of such times and tells us to stand firm for our beliefs. He warns us it will happen, so don't freak out when it does happen. We are called to be survivors in such times. He tells us to go about our business quietly, so as not to draw attention to ourselves. God wants people to see us because of our Godly virtue, not because of our holier-than-thou attitudes.

How does this apply to my life?

Today’s prayer: Lord, help me to stand firm in my beliefs, but help me to be humble each day. Lord, let my attitude turn people to you, not away from you. Amen.

Doug Mead

Parenting Solo

Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.

Vol. 3, No. 78

This week’s reading plan can be found at http:/www.oneyearbibleonline.com/june.asp?version=51

Get out of the way!

Good morning. This is a devotional for single adults from Parenting Solo, but the message also applies to single adults without children who may one day marry a single parent and be a step-parent. Feel Free to forward it to a friend.

Scripture: Matthew 10:17-20 (The Message) “Don’t be naïve. Some people will impugn your motives, others will smear your reputation – just because you believe in me. Don’t be upset when they haul you before the civil authorities. Without knowing it, they’ve done you – and me – a favor, given you a platform for preaching the kingdom news! And don’t worry about what you’ll say or how you’ll say it. The right words will be there; the Spirit of your Father will supply the words.”

Jesus gives his followers plenty of warnings about enemy attacks. In the previous graph, he tells the twelve disciples he is sending off, “Stay alert.” Here, he reminds them “Don’t be naïve.” Whenever Jesus reinforces a statement, it means he wants people to take extra precautions. It’s like a parent saying to a child, “I really, really mean it!” only this time, he really, really does mean it.

People who make the decision to serve God need street smarts, not just book smarts. When my son was growing up, I wanted him to get good grades, but not be naïve to how the world works. Too, Jesus didn’t want his followers to have hurt feelings for being ripped off at inopportune moments. The enemy knows your motives and will be there at every opportunity with distractions. Smearing your reputation is one of his tactics. Jesus says to forget about it, don’t bother.

He says that because we know God uses bad circumstances to bring about good in certain circumstances. Look at the life of Joseph. He is sold into slavery, accused of rape and left to rot in a prison, before his purpose came about. Because he remained faithful for some 17 years, he was able to save family from starvation. Had Joseph defended his reputation to Potiphar or in prison, he might never have become second in command to Pharoah over all of Egypt. Joseph didn’t let his surroundings keep him from trusting God.

That’s how God works sometimes. All these rotten things happen to us, then suddenly, we have a platform to preach his name. Cat got your tongue? Don’t worry about it. Ask God for the right words, and he will open your mouth just so. It isn’t your diction or your eloquent words that bring salvation, it’s God’s message. Sometimes, we just have to get out of the way and let him go. It’s a great feeling to realize you don’t know what to say or do, then say a quick, silent prayer, “I got nothing. You’re on, Lord.” Then you watch a miracle happen right before your eyes. Magical words come out of your mouth. The other person has ears to hear. Viola! Another saint for the kingdom. All because we just got out of the way and let God work.

How does this apply to my life?

Today’s prayer: Lord, help me to know when to just get out of the way and let you work. Help me to have wisdom to see when I need to do that, which is pretty much all the time. Amen

Doug Mead

Parenting Solo

Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.

Vol. 3, No. 77

This week’s reading plan can be found at http:/www.oneyearbibleonline.com/june.asp?version=51

How to be cunning and inoffensive

Good morning. This is a devotional for single adults from Parenting Solo, but the message also applies to single adults without children who may one day marry a single parent and be a step-parent. Feel Free to forward it to a friend.

Scripture: Matthew 10:16 (The Message) “Stay alert. This is hazardous work I’m assigning you. You’re going to be like sheep running through a wolf pack, so don’t call attention to yourselves. Be as cunning as a snake, inoffensive as a dove.”

The Bible often uses references such as sheep and wolves in analogies as to how the world works. Jesus pulls no punches in comparing sheep to wolves. In this case, Jesus is sending out his twelve disciples and comparing their work to sheep, while the wolves are unbelievers, or, more specifically, the Pharisees. The key phrase is to “stay alert” for what might be around us as we minister to others in your travels. If we aren’t careful, we will be devoured by hungry wolves.

Sheep are by nature dumb animals who think only about eating, drinking water, sleeping and reproducing. The Bible constantly references believers as potentially lost, who need a Shepherd to guide them. The NIV capitalizes Shepherd, meaning God, as the one we look to for guidance and for our protection. Jesus tells us specifically not to be sheep-like in how we act when we are out in the world. We are to be sensible and not gullible, yet not be conniving when we interact with others. When we lie or deceive others, we bring attention to ourselves instead of our mission. Our actions shine a bad light on Christianity and God.

We must find a balance in being “cunning” and “inoffensive” if we are to be successful in doing God’s work. We are always vulnerable to the enemy’s attacks if we aren’t careful. Another words, we should keep our heads up and be looking for the enemy’s attacks. We need to always realize that wolves aren’t friendly, and they are always hungry. They can attack at any time, even at night when we are sleeping.

Keeping God first in our lives is always the struggle. It doesn’t take much to get us off-kilter and be unable to serve others. As a single parent, our children are always open to such attacks. Because we must be the primary caregiver for our children, that often means stepping away from ministry to care for our own. In that regard, they are our primary flock and we are their shepherd. They depend on us. Our first responsibility is to our children. We can’t minister to others if our own lives are chaotic. When we manage our home life well, we are ready to be a shepherd of others. We have proven your ability to protect and lead at home, which is what God looks to first for his kingdom leaders.

How does this apply to my life?

Today’s prayer: Lord, help me to find that balance in my home life and ministry life. Help me to be someone that others look up to so that I can lead others to your Son. Amen

Doug Mead

Parenting Solo

Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.

Vol. 3, No. 76

This week’s reading plan can be found at http:/www.oneyearbibleonline.com/june.asp?version=51

Gentle conversation

Good morning. This is a devotional for single adults from Parenting Solo, but the message also applies to single adults without children who may one day marry a single parent and be a step-parent. Feel Free to forward it to a friend.

Scripture: Matthew 10:12-14 (The Message) “When you knock on a door, be courteous in your greeting. If they welcome you, be gentle in your conversation. If they don’t welcome you, quietly withdraw. Don’t make a scene. Shrug your shoulders and be on your way.”

In this life, there will be people who are friendly to you and those who will oppose you. Jesus wants to steer you clear of those people who are against you so that you don’t get frustrated or try to convert hearts that aren’t ready. He wants to make life easier for you. He even tells us to “shrug your shoulders” and leave. Another words, don’t worry about things you can’t control.

Jesus knows that there will be opposition to the message we carry about salvation. He knows some people will be open and others will be against it. He doesn’t want us wasting time preaching to people whose ears are closed. Instead, focus on the lost who are seeking and have open ears. Spend time with them, don’t be in a hurry and be there to meet their needs. God has been working on their hearts, and they are responding. So he puts them in your path to minister to them. Don’t be in a hurry to move on. Jesus is always about building relationships.

Jesus knows how frustrating it is to try and convert those whose hearts are closed, so he tells us to just move on. Those with closed hearts love to badger you and tell you everything that is wrong with Christianity. You see it today in society with the gay and lesbian faction, the pornography issue, abortion and every kind of addiction. People are just looking for excuses not to follow Jesus. Some people are so angry at their circumstances that they don’t have room in their hearts for the love of Jesus. It’s easier to blame someone else, so they blame Jesus and every one of his followers.

Don’t fight a fight that isn’t meant to be yours. Leave that fight to God. Ministering to people with broken hearts is difficult enough. It takes a strong believer to constantly overcome the struggles of that kind of ministry. He must be wise enough to stop and rest when tired, because healing ministry is draining. Someone who walks in to our churches is seeking. He just needs someone to reach out to him and share the love of God. Don’t be afraid; take a deep breath and take that first step toward him. Be gentle in your conversation. No attacking or impugning his motives. Just listen, then pray for him. Building a relationship takes time. Bringing salvation to the lost rarely happens on the first meeting. Take your time. Jesus is never in a hurry.

How does this apply to my life?

Today’s prayer: Lord, help me to see those you put in front of me. Help me to be gentle in conversation and caring. Help me to lead them to you. Amen

Doug Mead

Parenting Solo

Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.

Vol. 3, No. 75

This week’s reading plan can be found at http:/www.oneyearbibleonline.com/june.asp?version=51

Join God’s army today

Good morning. This is a devotional for single adults from Parenting Solo, but the message also applies to single adults without children who may one day marry a single parent and be a step-parent. Feel Free to forward it to a friend.

Scripture: Matthew 10:9-10 (The Message) “Don’t think you have to put on a fund-raising campaign before you start. You don’t need a lot of equipment. You are the equipment, and all you need to keep that going is three meals a day. Travel light.”

After my divorce 14 years ago, I was blessed to find a path that helped me heal and grow. I found both through a loving church that I found after separating from my wife. My new church helped me see the light about my life, as well as divorce recovery classes to help me understand what I was going through. A year later, knowing how valuable that healing was, I helped start a new program at my new church, called “Just Me and the Kids.” It was a 12-week divorce recovery program written by Barb Schiller for single parents and their children. My son went through that first class. (Ironically, he missed the week on denial, and that has always been his struggle.)

I have been doing ministry for single parents ever since, mostly at the church level. Now, much of what I do is help men come to terms with who they are and to grow as a man of God. I got that same kind of coaching from my first singles pastor at my church 14 years ago. The same principles apply today. He was my Paul and I his Timothy. Today, I am mostly the Paul with other men (though I am a Timothy in my 1-year-old marriage).

I had never done ministry before in church before I started caring for and teaching other single parents. I had grown up in the church and served others in various capacities, but rarely nothing beyond raising my hand to volunteer to set up or clean up after a program or dinner. Now, I am trying to use the gifts that God gave me to care for others. On Saturday, I watched a man, who I have watched grow in the Lord up close for the past three years, get married. I told him how proud God was of his growth. Someday, I hope he comes alongside another man and helps him grow up.

It doesn’t take a seminary degree to do ministry. Jesus helped shape the life of 12 ordinary men, then sent them off to start a religion that became a following of more than a million people in just the first year. All it takes to be a harvest hand is to be ready. Indeed, “you are the equipment.” You don’t need money or anything special to do God’s work. You simply need the Bible, which means you need knowledge of the Bible, which means you need to read and study the Bible every day. It is my mission to help single parents realize how valuable they are to the kingdom. People who have not gone through a divorce don’t quite understand what it means to suffer from the break up of a marriage like someone who has gone through divorce. Here is a challenge: Be ready to be a part of someone’s life for one year when the situation presents itself. Meet with that person – it must be a same-sex situation – for one hour a week. Grieve with her, read the Bible with her, pray with her and have meals with her. That’s it. You, too, can be all you can be by joining God’s army.

How does this apply to my life?

Today’s prayer: Lord, thank you for the gifts you have given me. Help me to spread the word about joining God’s army. Thank you for making a place for everyone. Amen

Doug Mead

Parenting Solo

Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.

Vol. 3, No. 74

This week’s reading plan can be found at http:/www.oneyearbibleonline.com/june.asp?version=51